I am now nearing my due date and have finally been taken off work. I guess the doctor figured that if I have contractions all day and am five cm dilated I deserve to sit at home. I can't possibly clean another item in our house, the car is packed, grandparents are on high alert, the baby clothes have been "Drefted", we're ready. . . or are we.
When Carter came along we were pretty blissfully unaware of the dreadful lack of sleep and unwavering sense of unselfishness that is parenthood. I love Carter more than any words or actions could possibly convey, but I distinctly remember how incredibly hard those first few weeks were. You see the commercials on TV with blissful looking families cuddling their soft naked newborns and you realize that those ads are pieces of airbrushed propaganda - wrong on so many levels. I mean who leaves a newborn naked for that long right?
I guess I'm being kind of negative and am using a little comedy to accentuate the point that I am scared out of my ever loving mind right now. Forget the actual part about birthing the child, no, I've got that, but how am I supposed to competently care for a newborn AND a two year old with the lack of sleep and sanity I know I am destined for at any moment. I am so very blessed to have the most amazing and supportive husband who has made the transition into fatherhood look like a dream, and I have not one but two sets of grandparents, that live less than ten minutes away. So why am I so freaked out? Shoot there are women living within miles of me that have eight, nine, kids - some all at home. I guess I just want to make sure that I do the very best job that I can. I know I won't be perfect and it will be hard, but if I give the best I have to offer every day then I know my two boys will thrive.
Okay some brief highlights of the last month:
1) Carter telling me that he is going to cut Miles out of my tummy with his saw.
2) Being told to be patient by Carter.
3) A friend telling us at the pub that it's okay for him to have four beers and drive because "I just sip them."
4) Carter wanting to play in Mason and Shelby's baseball and t-ball games. "I can't wait momma! I can't wait for Mason's baseball game!"
5) Listening to Carter read his books. The Very Hungry Caterpillar (Caterpillar Hungry) is nearly memorized.
6) Listening to Carter tell Baby Miles that he loves him and asking him to come out soon to play.
Okay Miles, I am ready. I had my pedicure, the house is Home and Garden ready, your car seat awaits, and I have vented/figured out/released some anxiety. I am so ready to meet you and hold you!
