In a Hurry With No Reason Why

"I rush and rush just to get things done, oh, I rush and rush until life's no fun.  All I really gotta do is live and die, I'm in a hurry and don't know why.  .  ."

Perhaps I've slaughtered the lyrics to this beloved country song, but every time it comes on the radio I tear up.  I constantly feel the rushing.  Hurry to eat, hurry to make it out the door, rush to get to soccer or flag football, rush to get home, dinner, bath, bed, and then all over again.  I DON'T like feeling this way, I don't like recreating the hectic scene from Home Alone where the entire family is sprinting through O'Hare in time to catch the plane.  Does every working parent live this dream?

I'm committing.  I'm committing to slowing it all down, to live in the moment more.  They are so blessed to live where they do, to have the school that they do, to experience the teachers that we have.  I want them to enjoy each moment in the moment and I need to model that more for them.

This weekend I went for a long run and the boys used the entire time to clean out the chicken coop.  Should it have taken as long as a 12 mile run?  Could they have done it quicker.  Yes, they could have, but they enjoyed the time with each other.  They were even complimenting each other on their chicken coop cleaning skills by the time I returned.    (Rest assured their doting father was within earshot of their efforts.)

I'm a worrier.  I worry about everything.  Ever since we've buried a child it's gotten even worse for me. You know what Carter worries about?  Picture day.  Yup.  "I've got a zit in my eyebrow.  Picture day is on Tuesday.  It's the important one, the one that goes in the yearbook, that people see forever."  He also worries about the best dove hunting locations. You know what Miles worries about?  How kids treat each other on the playground, what we packed for snack, or getting his sweatshirt over his head on his own.  I pray their worries are never bigger than these.

When my kids think about me I want them to know that what was most important to me was our family.  They always list our family as what they are most thankful for and what they love the most in our evening prayers.  I hope that's a reflection of what I show to them.

We've been rushing all summer, rushing to finish our backyard pool and it's pretty awesome.  Our plans in the future include more sitting and being by the pool, summer after summer, after summer.

Bradley was able to escape into the mountains on an annual Isbell hunt.  The hunt was grueling, but patience was needed.  No matter the speed of the hike, it was all in the patience of the eye and the mind.  He was tremendously successful.

I harvested and canned tomatoes on the same weekend.  I tried to rush the process and it ended up being an activity I despised until I slowed down and realized that my impatience and quick speed was only causing frustration and not changing the outcome.  So here's to fall.  To unrushed hunting, to school, to cozy dinners around the table, to evenings by the pool.  To slowing down and knowing we don't have to be in a hurry, even if we think that there is a reason why.