Seize It!

It has been a hell of a week. I have been at work the past two weeks because my long-term sub could not longer fill in. I was so grateful to be back at work because a local high school boy took his own life last week. Being able to be in the classroom to help grieving relatives and students so shaken by this small-town tragedy was amazing. I am back off of work to help my parents starting tomorrow. My dad doesn't really want me around, but I know that I need to be there for my mom. She really is amazing! Between being his care-giver, friend, wife, and a wonderful grandmother - she is holding up really well, all in between the reality that she is losing her best friend. She is remarkably strong, and I admire all she is doing and embracing.

Even though my dad is skin and bones (besides his extremely large stomach region), has difficulty getting in and out of a chair, and in much discomfort, he still likes to let me know everyday that he is "getting better". We all know that this is not true, but we play the charade, because that is what he is doing.

While looking through my computer for pictures of the young man who died, I kept finding myself looking at pictures of dad and thinking he looked "pudgy". This most certainly was never the case, but it just goes to prove how we accept and get used to our current situation. I really am surprised he is still alive. His mind works well, but his body just is not functioning well at all. He only really "eats" liquids, because almost everything he ingests has an immediate impact on his digestive system.

One of his comforts is his hot tub. I think it is soothing because he feels weightless. It has broken a few times, but my amazing husband drove to Oregon last week and worked on it relentlessly until 11pm to get it up and running again. Bradley has also put in a secure gate on the lower property with a keypad, and continues to stock their firewood pile. I made a wonderful choice when I married that man.

Perhaps the saddest part of the week was standing behind a family during the service, and watching a grown woman break away from her boyfriend and grab her father for condolence. Hugging my dad now is nothing like what it used to be. His words may have reassurance, but his physical body does not.

Carter and Miles are doing great and continue to visit dad for short bursts every other day. He can't really take anymore than that. I pray that he goes peacefully, and that my mother can enjoy the time she has left.

If anything "good" can come from this week, it is that we are reminded that life is short, we all make mistakes, but there is salvation. Whether through Christ, forgiveness, or other religious beliefs, the chance to make wrongs right is yours for the taking - don't waste the moment, seize it.